Conkers for Goalposts: The Playground Games Time Forgot

The first in a series of books known as ‘Tackle This Sport’, parodying the famous ‘Know The Game’ series, which all will remember from childhood. For those aspiring to become world-class sportsmen (or women), ‘Know the Game’ was the essential inside guide to the rules, tricks and tactics of your chosen sport, be it squash, basketball or lacrosse. ‘Tackle This Sport’ mimics the 1970s editions of the series, tapping into the same vein of nostalgia-based humour as TV programmes such as ‘Look Around You’. This volume focuses on Playground Games – otherwise known as Playground Fighting. For centuries, schoolboys have indulged in this noble pursuit, which has evolved complex traditions and customs unintelligible to the casual observer. ‘Tackle This Sport’ explains the proud history of playground fighting, taking the reader through the basics – the kit, the rules, the tactics, the training, and the moves (including the Highland Headbutt and the DNL – Deadly Nipple Lock), so that you can truly reach the top of your game. It’s going to be painfully funny… Also look out for planned future titles, including Playground Football, Playground Winter Sports (sliding, sledging on council signs, sledging standing up etc) and The Playground Olympics (Tag, British bulldog, conkers, French skips and that thing girls do when they throw a ball against a wall whilst reciting a rhyme…).